July 2, 2007

Momma, Don’t Let Your Babies Grow Up To Watch Wrestling

Vince McMahon calls it “entertainment.” I call it a televised execution.

It was not that long ago that someone wanted to put on a pay-per-view of a prisoner being put to his or her death and was struck down by the courts faster than you can say the word wrestling. But every two months or so World Wrestling Entertainment wants you to fork over fifty-some bucks to watch people who will, in all probability, be dead by the time they are the age of what you just spent.

All in the name of entertainment.

I grew up watching the grainy images on the family black-and-white television back in the fifties. We would all huddle around that thirteen-inch Philco to see a bunch of old, fat men dressed to the nines as if they were headed to a 21^st Century drag party or the corner bar depending on what their sexuality was on any given Saturday night.

Occasionally the little people (that’s being politically correct for what we knew as midgets) would make an appearance and if it was a special weekend a couple of gals would step into the squared circle. It made no difference if it was the same two hags each time, it was fun to watch.

Over the years I lost my passion for wrestling because there were better things, like chasing girls, getting a job, the Viet Nam war, Richard Nixon and the like that garnered most of my attention. Then I had kids of my own and wouldn't you know it, wrestling was back on our TV but there was a new twist.

Vince McMahon had competition in Ted “Deep Pockets” Turner and it was the WWF (as it was known then) against WCW.

Soap operas for men and we had two of them. It was an amazing era Turner, possibly at the behest of his now former wife Jane Fonda, said “Son, you gotta get away from them boys,” and the mustachioed one sold out.

But not to just anyone.

It was his competition and before the ink was dry, what many believed was sport turned into a deadly, daily cage match with reality: Be good or be gone.

It was pretty much a foregone conclusion that wrestlers were taking illegal substances in order to build bodies or bounce back from injuries that could land the normal person on permanent disability. However, when the bidding wars stopped the PED's (performance enhancing drugs) became more important than a bowl of Wheaties in the morning.

And people started dying at an alarming rate.

I admit I was a huge fan because there were the two organizations that could not be more different, like my twin sons. Oil and water.

When the WWF absorbed WCW and just about every wrestling organization on the planet he became the king of the hill, the Lord Almighty. His way or the highway.

Free enterprise you might say. Monopoly others would offer. Whatever you want to call it, McMahon has been granted license and privilege to televise legalized murder.

He doesn’t have to pull the trigger. He doesn’t even have to hold the rope. He has used the syringe because money was not enough for him; his ego told him he had to be in the ring too. Had to be this generation’s Charles Atlas in wrestling tights.  

Vince McMahon has become a pox on society. He calls his “employees” athletes but swears that it is only entertainment. Well ask yourself something. When was the last time an actor needed to inject himself with something that would make him perform better?

Sorry, I forgot Sylvester Stallone as he was preparing for Rocky MMVII and another war movie while a real one is going on.  

With McMahon in complete charge, aspiring wrestlers need to get that advantage so they will get noticed, possibly getting a contract at one of the WWE’s lesser brands. It's almost like baseball's minor leagues where you have to work your way up to the Show.

Unfortunately this Show could mean a short life just for the chance at big bucks.

The Chris Benoit family tragedy is just the latest example of what goes wrong when you get there and try to stay there.

No matter what the final outcome, we have yet another name on a headstone. The rumors swirl that he had a weekend of rage, first killing his bound and gagged wife then waited to smother his seven-year old son

There are others who say he snapped when he came home to find them both dead. Not very likely considering his previous ‘roid rage-type violent outbursts. Even his neighbors said things like he wasn’t right or was to himself. A sure sign that the pot was simmering.

What is more troubling is that McMahon’s version of the alleged timeline doesn’t jive with that of the Sheriff. And right from Jump Street it was labeled as a murder-suicide yet the WWE still went ahead with their three-hour cry-a-thon for their beloved alleged murderer.

Now that’s chutzpah for you.

Good old Vinny Mac told NBC’s Today Show last Monday morning that they had an obligation to the USA Network to fill the three hours so it was decided to “honor” Benoit.

Never mind that he could have run his card, mention something at the top of the show and show his picture at the end and fade to black. That would have show a little class but we’re talking about Vince McMahon here.

So what if it's a murder-suicide investigation, he was one of the boys. It could not have waited until the Thursday show when things may have sorted themselves out? How about the following Monday? Nah, gotta go on with the show, er, tribute. 

Where is my airline barf bag? 

Whatever the case, the seven-year old had problems and that could have been at the root of the domestic issues only mix in a foreign substance like PED’s or even more to the point steroids, it becomes a lethal combination. 

In most cases it is the individual that suffers the consequences, many deaths due to heart failure. Just read the death certificates and see the age of that person. If that is not enough to scare you then nothing will.  

McMahon’s monopoly has created a death sport and it is the kids who think they are heroes. Maybe so. 

You will see them appearing with the troops in Baghdad, at a charity fund raiser in Wyoming or signing books at your local Barnes and Noble. 

That’s all good. 

Sadly you cannot see what is inside flowing through their veins. 

There are no more fat guys. The so-called WWE athletes are all cut like Mr. America and appear to have graduated from the Anna Nicole School of Acting. 

Chris Benoit should be the wake-up call for all parents who let their kids watch this garbage.

There are some pretty funny but pointed spots on TV right now that has a mom or pop telling certain disturbing characters that they are being blocked.

As is the slogan for one athletic company, JUST DO IT.

You like wrestling, fine. But it is time to tune your kids out of this right here and right now. If you have one of those old sets where you cannot block the kiddies, then you will just have to miss YOUR show.

Tough. You may grow to like what they are watching.

That’s life. That’s reality.