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FemmeFan Weekly
May 5, 2005
The Long And The Long of It
By Ivette Ricco
The NFL Draft yadayada
has ended. I feel like I just went through a rough weekend of menstrual cramps
unabated by Midol.
The NFL Draft, bah
humbug, I guess I’m alone in my rants against this ESPN created hype-bowl. ESPN
and Mel Kiper Jr. got the madness going on the boob tube and now it has spread
like a boob-flu to the NFL Network.
The NFL Draft takes its
rather dubious place among the other pieces of cultural pollution we have all
become accustomed to, American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Yo Mama (I made
that one up). Yet it is a bona fide hit and must-see TV for the NFL junkie. I
thought I was an NFL junkie but upon further reflection have come to the
conclusion that if sitting through the draft or attending a draft party is the
test of a true NFL junkie then I am merely a casual user.
So what, if anything,
did we learn from this two day exercise in heightened testosterone levels and
male body part evaluation?
We learned that the Miami Dolphins under the leadership of the Tuna are starting
from the ground up and building a solid foundation by selecting Jake Long,
offensive tackle.
How perfect is this marriage? The Tuna and the Fins, it’s Charlie Tuna-like
Piscean Karma.
We learned that the all the Longs have it. At number one, Jake Long. At number
two, Chris Long, son of former Raider, now talking head Howie Long, looks like a
player that will go a long way towards improving the odds for of his woeful long
shot team, the St. Louis Rams.
We learned that the Falcons need a quarterback that isn’t going to become a dog
fighting entrepreneur; they took Matt Ryan, Boston College quarterback at number
three. We learned that another old timer, Al Davis still believes in speed
with the selection of Darren McFadden at number four.
We learned that Herm Edwards wants to make some serious upgrades on defense for
the Chiefs.
And we learned that the Jets feel the same way with their pick, Vernon Gholston.
Yes we have seen clearly that the top ten picks were all need-based picks, with
the exception of the Raiders selection of Darren McFadden.
So now we’ve gotten past
the draft. Free agent signings and wheeling and dealing will be on going for
months. Mini-camps will kickoff in May. And before you can say Michael Strahan,
training camp will be underway.
How did your team do on
draft day and how high is your hope barometer in May?
Who looks good right
now?
AFC
Chargers
NFC
So what, if
anything, did we learn from this two day exercise in heightened testosterone
levels and male body part evaluation?
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